Chatting with SummersGroovyMom the other day, I said, “I want to write about how sweet my husband is with our daughter. Like when he sprawls on the floor with her, coloring and giggling. They’re just so friggin’ cute. ”
I show her the picture. “Aww, that is cute,” she says, “but chile nobody wants to hear that.”
I burst out laughing. She was right. Ya’ll don’t want to hear about how awesome my husband is, how he’s the best thing since pants with pockets. Those types of posts are saved for Father’s Day only.
Instead, let’s hear how he screws up. On the regular.
How he dresses our 2-year-old daughter like a Marine fresh from boot camp.
How he once texted me a picture of our kid gnawing a chicken wing…when she was only FIVE MONTHS OLD.
How, when I’m not there, he will keep her up hours past her bedtime, watching Apocalypse Now or some other atrociously violent film.
This is what we want to hear. We love the “Bumbling Dad” stereotype. In fact, there’s an upcoming movie, Mom’s Night Out, that seems based entirely on the fact that dads will lose their own children. And let’s not forget about that Mr. Mom movie in the ’80s. Remember when he fought a vacuum and ironed a grilled cheese sandwich?
HI-LAR-I-OUS. I could probably crack a rib laughing at this movie now that I’m a mom. But should I?
As an adult, should we reject these types of films for the stereotypical male bashing that they are? Should we be frustrated with the “incompetent dad” stereotypes that we see over and over again? (check out the “Worst Male Bashing Ads“)
Chris over at the Daddy Doctrines blog thinks we should. He is known for his platform against male bashing. His latest post, “Mom Goggles: A Study in Every Stereotype Imaginable” laments that this coming Mother’s Day people will watch media images that show heroic moms saving the world and “bumbling dads barely keeping their kids alive.”
Recently, he and his fellow “dadvocates” trolled the Baby Making Machine blog when Jennifer (the author) posted how her husband would ruin the house while she was out of town. They essentially accused her of reverse sexism and perpetuating the “idiot dad” stereotype.
I didn’t expect that sort of response because I rarely hear men complain about being dumbed down. But I guess I understand it.
If I were really honest, I’d say that I’m not living with that stereotype. I mean, I’ve already told you how my husband’s not exactly waiting on me to cook and clean, and how I bumble waaaaay more than he does.
As shown by own husband and the Black Dads Rock group on Facebook, we can see that awesome dads are thriving…but it’s just funnier to highlight their slip-ups.
So when your husband frantically calls you at work, yelling, “YOUR DAUGHTER HAS DESTROYED THE HOUSE!” Then when you get home it’s just as much of his crap (socks, cups, candy wrappers) thrown on the floor as hers. Should you laugh and post it on Facebook?
Or when he sleeps on the couch calling the cows home while your crawling child is halfway up the stairs with a huge smile on her face….yeah, do or don’t call your girlfriends about that one?
What do you guys think? Is male bashing rampant and just as harmful as the dumb blonde or melodramatic mom stereotypes? How does your husband respond to the notion that he’s clueless with kids? Should these angry dads just get a grip and realize that for 2,000 years their egos have been over-inflated and this little bit of teasing shouldn’t get their panties in a wad?